Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
