I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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