my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
