Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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