Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
