He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
