So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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