you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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