My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
