I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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