The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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