At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
