Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
