I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
