Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
