Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
