Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
