DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
