my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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