About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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