He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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