Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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