So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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