and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
