So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize