OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
