Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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