you didnt know i had herpes?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
