You just made me feel so damn special
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
