I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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