We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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