So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Panties = found
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