Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
