that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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