he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
