Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
