found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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