i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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