What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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