Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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