He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
