I need help removing her.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
