i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
