I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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