I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
