I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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