I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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