I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
