I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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