need another drink. this is the easiest way
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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