I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
