i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
