im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
