I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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