I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize