i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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