Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
