Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
