I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
