I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
