is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
