No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
