dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
